Improve Your Eye Contact Technique

                                                                                         

Are you making these eye contact mistakes when you are talking with other people?

Do you look very deeply into the other person’s eyes, even if it’s someone you don’t know very well, without blinking? Do you keep looking into their eyes even when they want to look away?

Or, do you make the opposite eye contact mistake – do you completely avoid looking at the people you are speaking to? Do you look down at the ground, or do you look over their shoulder at something else going on behind them?

Either of these two approaches to the tricky topic of eye contact can cause a bad impression on others, and may even keep you from having good relationships.

If you don’t make eye contact with others, or if you gaze at people too intensely, you will probably be making your conversation partners feel uneasy.

Some of us automatically know how to use eye contact effectively. We sense when people want us to look at them, and we sense when it is time to look away.

For those of us who are not very good at reading other people, knowing when and how to make eye contact, and when to look away can be very confusing.

People who are very shy often have a lot of trouble making eye contact. Many shy people feel extremely uncomfortable about looking at someone’s eyes. Because they won’t look at the other person’s eyes, they end up making a bad impression. Shy people who won’t make eye contact can end up looking as if they are dishonest or hiding something. There is no way you can look confident if you are avoiding eye contact.

If you don’t like making eye contact with others, should you change this behavior? How can you start looking into someone’s eyes if you feel uncomfortable doing so?

If looking into somebody’s eyes is difficult for you, one way you can improve your eye contact is to consciously decide you will do it a lit bit more often, and for a little bit longer every time you are talking with somebody. That way you can gradually become more used to looking at people when you are speaking.

You may prefer to practice with people you already know.

You may find that if you let your eyes go out of focus a bit, it will be easier to look at the other person’s face. Just look in the general area of the nose, mouth, or eyebrows while they are speaking.

While you are in conversation, don’t keep your own face rigid. Let your face relax. Let various emotions show themselves on your face, as the conversation moves along. . Allow yourself to give a little smile on occasion.

What if you have been making the opposite mistake? What if you have been gazing at people too intensely without looking away? Unless you are working as a police investigator trying to intimidate suspects into a confession, this kind of intense gaze is not a good approach to making conversation, or making new friends.

Instead of looking intensely into other people’s eyes, once again, let your gaze soften. Break away from looking at your conversation partner all the time. Relax the muscles of your face. Allow yourself to show some emotions that match the topic of conversation.

With a bit of practice, and with a bit of feedback from the people you are talking with, you can learn to adjust your eye contact so that it won’t be too much, it won’t be too little, it will be just right!

About the author:
This article is from the new report by Royane Real, titled "Your Guide to Making Friendly Conversation" If you want to improve your conversation skills, download it today or get the paperback version at http://www.lulu.com/real

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