Allah Jesus Elohim Satan Fight over Michael Jackson’s Soul

The King is dead! Long live the King! The question is, now that the King has died, where will he be spending the rest of eternity if not longer? In a 2007 interview with Time Magazine, Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore said, “When I was in the Snow and Ice Data Center, receiving a full briefing on the polar ice caps, afterwards I would turn on my TV and there were two networks with the bulletin: “Britney Spears loses custody of her children.” We’re living in a madhouse if our priorities focus on the embalming of Anna Nicole Smith, or the trial of O.J. Simpson, while we ignore the greatest crisis this nation has ever faced.”

Now that Michael Jackson has left this madhouse, the question becomes where did he go? What religion was Michael Jackson? The funeral is going to be a joke, a beard pulling festival as the leaders of the three religions of Abraham fight over the corpse. With the world six years into George Bush’s Crusade, Iran threatening to nuke Israel into the dirt and Israel threatening to stop Iran’s march towards nuclear weapons, all Hell is about to break loose. Hopefully Kim Jong il or his heir Lil’ Kim will wait until after the funeral to obliterate US. Have some respect!

What religion was Michael Jackson? Does anybody really know what time it is? Adolf Hitler claimed that anyone with even one Jewish grandparent had to be gassed. Michael Jackson passed on the gas and went with the needle, porcupine style. George Michael said that the worst thing that could happen to a singer was for them to make it.

Tell that to the 5 million MySpace musicians scratching and clawing to make it big. It doesn’t get bigger than Michael Jackson, unless you include John Lennon, Vladimir Lenin, Joseph Stalin, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Paul McCartney, Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Elvis Presley, Aretha Franklin and Jennifer Love Hewitt. What were the odds that Britney Spears’ backup dancer was going to walk away with her kids and her money? Take a poll.

The reason that Satan is in the running for Michael Jackson’s soul is because of the King’s alleged pole vaulting adventures with several Macaulay Culkin clones. Did Macaulay testify at Michael Jackson’s trial? What lunatic moonwalks on the rooftop of an SUV at his own pedophilia trial in pyjamas? Instead of a full time cardiologist the King needed a full time psychiatrist.

The Jackson family is now crying their eyes out over the loss of the King. Which famous singer can now claim to be both the daughter and the ex wife of the King? Incest aside, is marrying Kings hereditary? Heretics aside, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the guy we will be nuking shortly as Iran is now two months from having the bomb, himself a musician, has banned music in Iran for its corrupting influence on the youth, as if the elders are not corrupt. Take my crackdown, please.

President Obama is now practising his pitching warming up to throw out the first pitch at the July 14 All Star game in Saint Louis to Henry Paulson in the lobby. It will be sefer there. Barack is the son of a black Kenyan Muslim father and a lily white non religious Christian woman from Kansas. Picture Barack Obama at the Wailing Wall. Why is a wall crying? Is it afraid of the Green Monster? Now picture Michael “Zelig” Jackson sitting with fake spoonbender Uri Geller at the Carlebach Synagogue on Manhattan’s Upper West Side wearing a black fedora, a red Kaballah wristband, a red silk shirt, an iridescent tie and dark sunglasses in case Al Sharpton walked in.

In November of 2008 Michael Jackson converted to Islam and changed his name to Mikaeel at his friend Steve Porcaro’s house. At the present time Michael’s personal Dr. House seems to be on the run, like the band. The King of Pop sat on the floor on a magic carpet wearing a small hat as an Imam officiated. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threw out the first pitch and then Mikaeel went through the shahada, the Muslim declaration of belief. Unconfirmed sources have it that Cat Stevens sang “Peace Train.”

While married temporarily to the King’s daughter, Michael may have dabbled in Scientology. In those days he could afford it. Michael Jackson was born a Christian Jehovah’s Witness, like Venus and Serena Williams, but he left when he was old enough to understand that Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Christmas. Jehovah’s Witnesses believe that secular non Jehovah’s Witness Society is under the control of Satan, which brings us full circle.

Perhaps if people understood that according to Islam, Christianity and Judaism, God of Mount Sinai, aka Allah, God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, Yehovah and Elohim was the God who carved the ten commandments in stone himself, and then handed them to Moses, according to the Holy Scripture of all three religions, Michael Jackson would not have been forced to search for the same God in various Mosques, Churches or Synagogues, or perhaps he was just hedging his bets, like Henry Paulson and Henry VIII, the Supreme Head of the Church of England and father of Herman.