Extending Brand Nigeria in the UK

When a major news journal editor-friend of mine knew that I would be traveling abroad on holiday, he never believed that I would return because he felt that was a perfect society for me. However, I disappointed him by carefully lecturing him on the need to be patriotic in spite of the inconvenience.

While in the UK, I tried getting Sandra, a Jamaican married to a childhood friend of mine, to do an assessment of Nigerians and she wrote: “Nigerians are very proud and ambitious. But it seems as though those that don’t do well are looked down on by others and are made to feel like outcasts.”

Could this be a perfect description of Nigerians? She could not understand why my only brother in the UK who had not seen me in 25 years did not even feel obliged to call for once to know how I was doing. Well, I had to explain that he left Nigeria when I was only five and that he had not been “home” apart from his one-month visit in 1991 since he traveled out in 1968. In other words, we may have shared the same womb but I do not think we connect emotionally.

But Biodun Apatira, her husband who never gets tired of telling anyone who cares to listen that he owes his success to his God-sent wife, would call my cousin’s phone number in Manchester to know how I was doing though I had only been gone from his London home a couple of days! I also remember his caring look as I was picked by another Nigerian friend for a week in Kent- the spontaneous body hug and packaged shirt gifts for the trip that preceded Manchester, etc – that was emotionally touching!

That Nigerians living in London have no time for their visitors may not be totally true after all. Well, may be because I knew and met those who enjoyed my company and would rather take one or two days off-work so we could go shopping- I was practically driven around! And then there was a nice Niger-Delta chap called Meyomar, who had to do sleepless nights burning some jazz music on CDs for me in Manchester. He is not a musician- he is into IT, like “marvelous Ben,” another Niger-Delta guy, who like Meyomar, shows off a Yoruba wife who is also in love with the Crusaders, Bob James, Earl Klugh, etc.

In Ben Kokoruwe’s Bromley garden is an improvised gym and is he strong! I thought I was “tough” until he drilled me and I almost passed out. As if to compensate me, we had to head for Nandos afterwards for some Portuguese delicacies. Dunni Edobor’s invitation for lunch at her work place came pretty late as I had only two days left in England, while my departure day was partially spent with an old but influential friend at St. James’s Park in Central London.

Piqued by the fact that Kokoruwe took me to TK Maxx and Lilywhites for shopping, Mrs. Lawal who was visiting, en route to the United States insisted I must check out East Street and/or Liverpool Street before my return. Though I arrived at East Street late (no thanks to a white London Transport staff at the Peckham Bus Station who misled me) I was still able to witness a typical projection of Balogun Market to London. I would actually have spent the whole day at Peckham but for another Transport staff, a Nigerian, who said “the oyinbo man wey mislead you dey craze!”

I like what Uche Nworah, my friend of over 10 years, is doing in London - he is into many legitimate things - from lecturing to consulting to political campaigning, etc. He, accompanied by another visiting Igbo guy, actually gave me my first out-of-home treat at a Saigon Restaurant located at Greenwich Park. Idowu Falekulo followed suit at his regular Chinese Restaurant at Chatam. Tired of all these “tasteless” meals, I insisted that I would love to eat Amala, etc. And off Biodun and I headed for Lolak Afrique Restaurant, Choumert Road on the Sunday I was returned from Kent.

That was actually my first time in Peckham as we were treated to sumptuous Nigerian meals in a “buka” environment where the attendants were illiterate Yorubas whose “visa success” thoroughly confused me. An interaction with the owner, simply called “Alhaja,” revealed that we had connections back home with Obalende; it was therefore not surprising to me when the cashier asked us to keep our money- F.O.C!

Abayomi Apatira, a senior insurance consultant, interestingly, is a Nigerian with a passionate interest in the political happenings here. According to him, “come 2007, if the right leader is elected, the one who can continue with the present economic reforms of the government, before long, the entire populace will start to reap the benefits of good governance.” Yomi has been living in the UK since 1982.

Asked if he would like to relocate to Nigeria soon, Stanley Eyanagho, an NHS official, replied in the affirmative, but gave security of lives and property as a condition. According to him, “our leaders know the right things to do in order to win the confidence of Nigerians- they should just do those things.”

Jide Oniwinde is married to a Bini lady who is a Pharmacist. An insurance practitioner, Jide believes that his 16-year stay in the UK so far has helped Nigeria’s image because he works as a manager in a multinational accounting firm, protecting it from potential litigations, financial crimes and regulatory sanctions.

Despite marrying a British Jew, Tina Emenyeonu, a secretary, would not mind relocating with her husband someday to Nigeria. This is because she actually brought him home last year and he liked it here! But I could not understand why Biodun and his friend Bayo prefer to invest actively in Gambia. Bayo, who according to Biodun, is into acquiring ailing companies for others, is visibly rich with a posh apartment in Upscale Beckenham. His initial “derogatory” visual rating of my jeans overall – cold weather – as we stepped into his home later evaporated when he learnt that I was visiting and knew that I left the University of Ibadan a couple of years before he gained admission there.

His morbid fears of ever doing business in Nigeria were also allayed when I advised him to visit my personal website! I thought I was in Lagos as I made Segun Odubela’s niece’s first birthday at a Baptist church in Sydenham (every music played was Nigerian). Same thing later happened at the Ujima facility in Woolwich, on the occasion of the “graduation” of some mentally-challenged minorities, who were largely composed of Nigerians and Jamaicans; Reggae and Nigerian music delighted guests.

A young Nigerian “graduand” at the facility, when given the microphone, could not stop berating colonialism for Nigeria’s woes. Though he did not spare Christianity which he regarded as the colonial master’s tool, I felt he should have been challenged by the courage of the likes of Remi Alaka, Mike Bewaji and Toks Sowoolu who meet every Sunday at the predominantly white neighbourhood of Eltham (remembered for recording the violent murder of Jamaican Stephen Lawrence some years back) as they preach the Word.

If I was invited to the Nigerian Music Award I would not have attended because I did not understand why it had to be brought to London; I did not buy the sponsorship excuse on Ben TV at all. For Tokunbo Awosusi, popularly known as Leke, Nigerians in the UK should emulate the humility of the average rich white guy. He is easily put off by the arrogance and boastfulness of Nigerians. Having also lived in the UK for 24 years, he does not rule out the possibility of relocation in the near future.

I wish Barrister Bose Agbe-Davies Mbah - longest name in the UK? – were here right now to help fight some injustices I am facing in my own country! I bumped into her in Catford as we both waited for a Victoria-bound Bus. Bose has seen virtually every part of the world by virtue of being a retired ambassador’s daughter- but why did she have to tuck her Unilag M.Sc degree in Political Science under her pillow for a new career in Law?

It was great selling Nigeria to an Antiguan grandma on a day I did my final shopping at Lewisham; arrested by my white lace, she insisted on knowing who made the clothes! I did not return to Nigeria without paying my respect to the late Owolabi Oduwole at the Honor Oak Cemetery. Afterward, Paula, his widow treated me and her brother-in-law to a good meal in her Dartford, Kent home. I could not make the Nottinghill Carnival in West London but learnt MTN, Glo, etc. made Nigeria proud.

Guess what, I was proud to be a Nigerian in the UK! I saw no Nigerian criminal!