Problem Parents Have Kids Who Take Drugs. But What Is a Problem Parent?

Hundreds of studies have been conducted to find out why kids take drugs. Some of the latest research shows it’s often due to ‘problem parents.’ Parents, understandably, tend to reject this notion since many of them are trying their best to be, and actually are, very good parents. But ‘problem parents’ no longer has the same meaning it did when those parents were kids themselves. Finding out the new definition of ‘problem parent’ could prevent your kids from developing a problem with drug addiction or abuse.

Decades ago, being a good parent meant watching your kids like a hawk. Like Leave It To Beaver. When they went out, they told their parents where they were going, who they would be with, what they were going to do, and what time they’d be home. Parents checked out their friends, their friends’ parents, and the places where they hung out.

Considering that the most dangerous things most kids were likely to do in those days was tell a little lie or borrow a car for a relatively harmless joyride, that’s pretty extreme. But what was expected of kids in those days and in that type of environment seems to have been much higher than it is now.

As the years went by, the economy took a down turn, as did family life. The number of divorces increased, moms had to work, and kids were on their own after school and sometimes in the evenings.

Kids were forced to become more independent and, as they did so, also demanded it. In the meantime, the situations parents were afraid their kids would run into, but rarely did in the Leave It To Beaver days, became very real threats. Drugs and crime in schools, and among school-aged kids, became increasingly more of a problem.

Unfortunately, the independence was already established. There were now enough kids around whose parents weren’t really very involved in their lives for these kids to become a strong peer group. Kids whose parents were an integral part of their lives were scorned by those peers and the pressure to rebel – including with drug and alcohol abuse – was on.

Unlike the Beaver days when you’d be hard-pressed to find even one kid in a school who did drugs, today you’d be hard-pressed to find a school that didn’t. And, more than likely, one in five kids in your kid’s school have taken drugs. And some sell them. The drugs have changed too - the majority of kids how have a problem with prescription drug addiction and abuse, and they often get the drugs from parents’ medicine cabinets.

The result? Being a good parent has reverted to Leave It To Beaver but, this time, there really is something to be afraid of. Your efforts will do a lot more than keep your kid from going for a joyride in the family car. They may save their life.

The most recent study that targeted parents as the reason kids use drugs was the 13th annual back-to-school survey conducted by Columbia University's National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA). They surveyed parents and kids. The primary reason the researchers concluded that parents are the problem is disconnection: Parents don’t know what’s up with their kids.

For example, nearly half the kids said they hang out with their friends on school nights. But only 14% of parents knew that. Not only are the parents unaware of where their kids are, what they’re doing and with whom, they apparently don’t even know they’re not home.

Another study, by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, also unearthed an interesting fact that hasn’t been emphasized elsewhere: 73% of teens said that school stress was the No. 1 reason for using drugs. Another disconnect – only 7% of parents thought of school stress as a possible reason for drug use. For parents who have to pay the bills, cope with stress at work and, sometimes, stressful marriages, going to school would seem like a holiday. But it’s anything but that for the kids.

What’s a good parent these days? It’s back to the same Leave It To Beaver vigilance and connection. While you don’t have to wear a nice dress, heels, and get your hair done to make dinner, and you don’t have to wear a tie while reading the evening paper, a little Ward and June Cleaver type parenting would go a long way. And it could keep your kids out of a drug addiction treatment center.