My Kid’s on Drugs – Is It My Fault?

Many parents – not all – ask themselves whether or not their kid taking drugs is their fault. Even those who put a lot of thought and effort into doing their best start second guessing some of their decisions when they find themselves worrying about what’s happening, or what will happen, to their kids when they’re drinking, taking illegal drugs, using prescription drugs recreationally, and so on. But what does ‘kids taking drugs’ really have to do with parenting?

While kids are definitely affected by their home environment, it is, by far, not the only influence - and many influences are not under a parent’s control.

That said, there are a lot things you can do at home to prevent alcohol and drug addiction and abuse.

The major situation in homes, other than parents taking no interest in their kids’ lives whatsoever, is that some parents don’t realize their kids have problems. True, they don’t have mortgages, car payments, stressful jobs, money problems, health problems (usually), or marital problems. And they’re not trying to raise kids in a somewhat kid-unfriendly environment. All they have to do is go to school, do their homework, a few chores around the house, and have a good time. You’d think life would be easy, right?

Wrong. Kids have their own set of problems: Gaining acceptance from their peers, being self-conscious about their looks or clothes, not being as smart or as athletically-talented as others. They’re desperately trying to make the grade – to fit in with their group.

They also aren’t always given the best education. In a classroom with 30 other kids and one teacher, things get past them that they don’t understand. Sometimes speaking up and saying “I don’t get it”, isn’t easy or acceptable. They might not even realize they don’t understand something, they just know they’re bored, and they can’t do the work. But they’re expected to get good grades and may have privileges taken away, or worse, if they come home with a bad report card.

When going through puberty, the raging hormonal changes in their body and the accompanying emotional upheaval, added to all the rest of life’s problems, are enough to have them spinning in confusion.

Also, if their parents have problems, individually, as a couple, with their jobs, money, and so on, the kids worry about them. And about their own future.

Of course, if they live in a somewhat hostile environment where they’re yelled at, hit, or given the idea they’re not important, not welcome, not loved or respected (and telling them you love them isn’t enough, you have to show it), that will also affect them.

However, if you pay attention to them, if you notice when they don’t seem happy and talk with them to help them figure it out, if you help them with their homework or try to find out why they don’t like school (instead of assuming all kids feel that way), if you have meals with them, if you participate in their lives, their school, their extra-curricular activities, if you keep an eye on who their friends are, and their friends parents, if discussions with them about their lives or behavior don’t always end with your enforcing your viewpoint and negating theirs, then they have someone to come to with their problems.

If they don’t have you, or don’t think they do, their only alternative is to look for help elsewhere. Sometimes they’ll take whatever ‘help’ they can find. If their friends at school offer them drugs or alcohol, and someone will, count on it, they might take them. They may even take the feel-good prescription drugs their parents have in the medicine cabinet hoping the drugs will do the same for them. Which may result in prescription drug addiction.

Parents reading the list above will probably find they haven’t always done the right thing at the right time but, fortunately, perfection is not required, nor is it possible.

The important thing is that you do the best job you can and, most of all, be there for your kids. One other important factor is educating your kids about drugs – kids whose parents educate them on the dangers of alcohol and drugs (real facts, not just your opinion or ideas), there’s a 50% better chance they won’t take them.

If your kid has a problem with alcohol or drug addiction or abuse, stop blaming yourself and get them the drug addiction treatment they need. Your best bet is to contact a drug rehab referral service that can advise you of your options, and help find the best one for your situation.