Gina Stepp: Bridging the Generation Gap

                                                                                         

An ongoing discussion among social researchers revolves around the question, "What are the benefits and drawbacks of grandparents raising grandchildren?"

For some, it would be more relevant to ask, "Why is this such a burning question?"

The consensus is that there are increasingly more grandparents taking responsibility for their grandchildren--for a variety of reasons, and according to sociologists, this is an international trend. Part of this increase can be attributed to the fact that social workers have begun to notice children do better when placed with extended family when possible rather than in stranger foster care, which has often the norm in post-modern times. But part of the increase can be traced to the fact that a number of post-modern parents have simply abdicated their roles, and have left their own parents to pick up the pieces.

To be fair, this is not always the case. Single parents sometimes find themselves in situations beyond their control, and must depend on extended family for help. Two-parent families are not immune to unfortunate circumstance either.

Regardless of the reason, however, sociologists note the trend and have begun to debate the affect on grandparents themselves. While in general, it is agreed that there are certainly positive benefits to both grandparents and grandchildren in such situations, there are some caveats. The circumstances that result in such placements can be cause for grieving for the entire household. Children may grieve separation from their parents, while grandparents grieve the perceived failure of their own parenting, or may simply grieve the life difficulties of their children. Research suggests that in such cases grandchildren may not receive the comfort and love from their grandparents that they need if grandparents are also experiencing the stress of the middle generation's problems.

Thus, while placement with extended family may be preferable to placement with strangers, the result may still be less than ideal in some situations. Health problems for over-stressed, worried grandparents may result in interrupted attachment for dependent grandchildren, and the needs of both may end up just short of being met.

What role does the "generation gap" play in all of this? It's an interesting question. If we weren't so complacent with the existence of such gaps, would such problems be as prevalent? And if the "middle generation" abdicates, could it have something to do with their having been raised on the outdated, ultra-permissive child-rearing philosophies of a generation ago that experts such as Dr. Spock ended up retracting? Or could it even be related to insecure attachment with their own parents? Of course there are no simple answers however tempting it may be to look for them.

In any case, such discussions encourage us to consider how important it is to think long and hard about our parenting strategies. Our children will eventually be parents themselves, and members of the "middle generation." As parents and grandparents, we ourselves have each been as well. It's primarily when this middle generation is missing--either physically or emotionally--that there's concern about the resulting strains on either side of the "generation gap." The goal of mending the "fabric of society" requires that we also minimize holes in the ongoing weaving process.

About the author:
Gina Stepp is a writer and editor with a strong interest in education and the science that underpins family and relationship studies. She began working toward a Journalism major and Psychology minor at the University of Central Florida before moving to California where she completed her BA in Theology in 1985. To contact Gina Stepp, please email at ginastepp@earthlink.net.

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